As we dismantle the illusions of the false self, we awaken authenticity and a humble spirit. 

Part 4: The Degenerative Ego

The wrong departure for humanity begins when we live out of a what’s-in-it-for-me ethic, out of a determination to be on our own, and not for others.  In his treatise on The Solution of the Ego, Gerald Heard speaks of the ego as a degenerative process involving greed, fear, and ignorance.  The wrong direction happens when we chase pleasure, grab at the goods of life, and become possessive.  The net effect of this is “…the complete sundering of that sense of compassion which is the intuitive sense of kinship and union with life.” (1)  Heard identifies greed as the beginning of our real trouble.  In our fear of lack and loss, an attitude of possessiveness takes hold and leads us into the love of gain.  But greed causes disintegration and turns to trepidation.  As our sense of separateness grows, our fears are compounded.  Such grasping for material benefits, Heard adds, can also be experienced on a higher plane as rapacity for spiritual gain.  He goes on the talk about the love of pleasure, and suggests that the gratifications we crave give rise to addictive behaviors born in the dread of weakness and pain.  Lastly, Hear describes the love of fame, and how pretentiousness arises when we fear blame and shame.

The antidote to the love of gain is found in frugality.  In this spirit we live out of simple basic need, travel light upon the earth, and learn to trust providence.  Beyond self-indulgence, we discover the more sacred uses of the body.  According to Heard, the right meaning of life provides the impetus to cast out greed.  The love of fame is cancelled by choosing anonymity.  As we dismantle the illusions of the false self, we awaken authenticity and a humble spirit.  Addictions are counteracted by self-restraint wherein we come to know the body as a vessel, not a nest.  As we transcend our need for immediate gratifications, we find what is truly worthwhile and of lasting value.  To sum up, our dread of limitation and weakness, our possessiveness and pretentiousness, and our addictiveness all begin to dissolve when we discover the simple way.

I remember once being reproached by a friend who told me to stop my grumbling.  I felt a little taken aback, not because I never need correcting, but because in that particular situation, I was not whining as much as feeling and expressing my sadness.  Indeed, there is a time for legitimate complaining: to lament lost love, defiled beauty, compromised truth, wasted talent.  There is certainly a time to weep, feel injury and injustice.  The healthy release of sorrow and desolate emotion makes way for gratitude’s entry.  Our sadness ultimately gives way to gladness, much as the mud gives way to a beautiful garden.

Indeed, I count it pure grace when I experience gratitude in my heart.  The soft refreshing rain, the harvest, our health and happy relationship, everything we have has been received as gift.  When I get stuck in my grumbling, and my heart fills with covetous longings, songs of gratitude stop and disenchantment quickly follows.  In genuine thanksgiving, I learn to let go of thinking about what I deserve.  It is then that I come to know the universe as benevolent, to trust that all is grace.

See also:
Part 1: A Wounded Riverman
Part 2: Be in Love
Part 3:  Law of Generosity

Next in the series:  The Wounded Healer