On Lay Monasticism Bro. David Steindl-Rast O.S.B. and Ram Dass

Things that I’m ready for now, I wasn’t ready for two years ago. There is a living process going on.

[Ram Dass, cont. from page 2]  ...

Now my heart tells me that I want a certain amount of monasticism in my life. I want a certain amount of seclusion. I have a van, I go off into the desert parks and live by myself. I just spent months by myself on a beach in Thailand. I spend much time each year all by myself, in the true monastic tradition I think. And yet I’m not ready to go and take a vow of monasticism and live in a monastery for the rest of my life, because it isn’t my dharma (“dharma” meaning “way”). I’m also involved in social action in prisons, with dying, in a number of places. And yet that isn’t my only way. I’m merely representing the voice of many people now.

What I need are places like the Barre [Massachusetts] meditation center. The chance to come to some place first for ten days, then a place to come for three months, then a place to come for a year. And maybe I will grow towards, or some of us will grow towards, becoming true monastics. Or maybe I will take that monastic experience and feed it back into my social action in a way where I will truly be a retreatant, a recluse, at the same time I am in the world but not of the world. These are stages of the journey and I’m just listening to hear what the stages are. Things that I’m ready for now, I wasn’t ready for two years ago. I wouldn’t have gone and sat alone for three months two years ago. I would do it now. There is a living process going on.

When I went to Mount Saviour [a Benedictine monastery near Elmira, New York], I was welcomed and allowed to live with the brothers and partake of food with them and be quiet. The most powerful moment I had was standing in line washing my cup and plate. It was a silent gathering, the seven offices and silence otherwise. I was standing in line behind a brother, and he had the plate in his hand and in the other hand he had the brush with the soap on it, and he was brushing his dish. I whispered to him (we could whisper in the line), “Brother, how long have you been here?” And he said, “Sixteen years.” And the image I have is the brush going around in the dish and “Sixteen years.” And the way in which he said it. There was no pride, there was no pity, there was no sense of accomplishment. It was merely a statement: “Sixteen years.” And that was a statement of a man’s dharma, his way to God. It was no better than any other way. It was a way to God and it taught me a tremendous amount. I thank Father Damasus (Winzen) and the whole Benedictine tradition for allowing me that moment. It fed me, in the same way that Zen and all the other traditions have fed me. I’ve never yet gotten back to Judaism, because it was too bitter for me. But I hope I will in this lifetime to make the circle complete.

I’ll end with just one little image. There was a “yagya,” a fire ceremony, at the temple in India. It was a nine-day ceremony. There were four Brahmin priests who were running the ceremony and there were laymen involved. It was required that everybody be involved for the full nine days. I was a participant-observer. On the seventh day, in the middle of a very sacred part, Maharaji called from the courtyard: “Sharma, come here.” Sharma was one of the laymen who had been in the ceremony for seven days. He got up and walked out of the ceremony. Maharaji said to Sharma: “Here take these boxes of food and give them to feed the people.” I was horrified. I said, “How could Maharaji disrupt the ceremony like that?” And I was told: “The living Spirit transcends the ritual.” Maharaji said: “The true fire ceremony is the serving of other beings.”

In a way the teaching I got was to honor the ritual and also not to be afraid to leave it. When I rejected the rituals of Judaism, I seemed to be rejecting all ritual. Now I find I’m coming back to honoring ritual again. But I am coming back through the Spirit. I am not using rituals to get to the Spirit. I am using the Spirit to find the rituals as the vehicles for living Life in the Spirit. That’s a different function for rituals than the one that the Church has used them for, for a long time.

I remember clearly saying that life is too short to do so many different things.

Br. David :   After these things Ram Dass has said, I’d much rather listen to more of his journey than tell you about mine. But I’m also very grateful that it was possible for me to come here. My heart has been with you ever since this meeting started. It is an extremely important thing that is happening here. So I’m glad to be with you and to be able to share some of myself. This is the most personal gift a person can give, to share of himself. I don’t normally do it. But I would like to share with you personally, for this is an important juncture in my life, and I see that there are so many of my friends here.

There are two important developments in my life that I would like to talk about. Both of them belong to the topic for which we are gathered this evening -- monastic life, East and West. I would like to share with you some things I remember about my discovery of the relationship between East and West -- between all those who search for the Truth. These two areas of experience are closely connected in my life.

I was born and raised in Austria. In Austria and in Germany about forty years ago, Zen Buddhism was often talked about among students and there were many books about it. And too, there was talk of yoga and other things, almost as it is now in America. Everybody was interested, but I myself never really got interested. I remember clearly saying that life is too short to do so many different things. If I had gone into Buddhism, I would have wanted to learn at least Chinese. And if I had gone into yoga, I would have at least wanted to learn Sanskrit. I wanted to do it radically. So I said I can’t even do one thing thoroughly, so I’ll stick with that one thing.

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