I have been searching for more than 40 years the way to inner peace and the certainty that I am truly acceptable with my present life to God. (I used to be a great sinner and I still sin.) At present I am a Benedictine Camaldolese Oblate and although I feel happy I still do not live completely sure I am on the right path. — Clifford

Dear Clifford,

Biblical writers used the phrase "40 years" as the very image of a long time, which underscores how much patience and courage your explorations have demanded of you. To live gratefully means appreciating not only your strides ahead, but also mining the profound value of your apparent failures, which build humility and compassion.

When you speak of what God finds acceptable, the prophet Micah's words come to mind:

...What does the LORD require of you
but to do justice, and to love kindness,
and to walk humbly with your God?

We're all on a journey -- with valleys, plateaus, and peaks -- towards this lifestyle, and in a sense none of us has gone far. But there's almost nothing more encouraging than a genuinely searching spirit. Jesus picked up on a deep truth when he said, "Seek and you will find, knock and the door will opened to you, ask and it shall be given to you." So you can trust for sure that your search will lead to treasure. Your dawning happiness comes as a sign that your path is lit all the way by the very qualities you seek to know in full by the end. If a little uncertainty lingers, take it as a call to contemplation that will carry your journey forward and deepen your humanity.

With all best wishes,
Patricia Carlson