Hi Karen, You are amazing. Julia
- Julia White, Puyallup, WA   18 Mar 2010

In March of '09, I lost my son Keegan, by his own hands. I have not only the grief of his death but the grief of suicide as well. I have felt as if this has all been a horrible nightmare, that the road traveled is dark and long. In so much as my heart aches and the deep sadness that I have missing him everyday and every minute; I can not over look and be grateful for the gifts that I have received, friendships that I have made that I never would have know, friendships that have ended, because those are people you don't need in your life, and new ideas and beliefs and views I never knew about since his death. I have been keeping a "gratefulness journal" forcing myself to acknowledge the good around me...You would bee surprised what you can find, even in you're darkest hours.
- Karen, Arizona   17 Mar 2010

im angry and my husband is noticing it.. i wrote a letter the other day with everything on it that i felt guilty for with her and i ripped it up and threw it away and i said let by gones be bygones and i forgave my self for it and decided to move forward,, i need to move forward cuz its getting between me and my husbands realtionship,, any advice?? please
- nicole guerrero, suncity   16 Mar 2010

today is my grandmothers 80th birthday.. she is not here with us anymore we lost her in nov 09. it came so sudden and i didnt know how to take it still at times i dont.. she raised me since i was three because my mother had past away we were very close we did have our ups and downs and i hit the teenage years.. i got pregnant at 17 so i moved out soon after that she started getting sick i went and helpd out as much as i could my uncle who took care of her decided to put her in a nursing home that that was the best thing for her at the time..she started suffering from Alzheimer's Disease i went over there as much as i could after having my son it got a lot harder to just get up and go and i didnt drive my husband did so it had to be a day that he had off and was free.. after her passing i just felt alot of guilt like i could have done more i know i did alot but still at times i feel like i could do more.. i dont know how to handle this.. times im sad ddont want to be bothered and times
- nicole guerrero, suncity   16 Mar 2010

I AM GRATEFUL FOR THIS WEBSITE I LOST MY DAD ON NOV.20 2009 AND MY BROTHER ON JAN.10 2010 READING EVERYONES POSTS REINFORCES THAT DEATH HAPPENS TO EVERYONE AND THERE IS SUCH A HELP INPLACES THAT WE CAN SHARE OUR STORIES IT KEEPS OUR LOVED ONES ALIVE MY DADDY WOULD HAVE BEEN 80 NEXT TUESDAY WE ARE GOING TO CELEBRATE HIS LIFE
- MICHELLE, NEW JERSEY   16 Mar 2010

My dad and Mom are both deceased mom 7 years and my dad 12 years and when my Dad died it seemed like the end of the world for me! I thought of taking my life but for just a breif moment as my Mom would be still here and I thought about her coping with two deaths, her husband and her first born! My dad lived a whole year and of course you get "false " hope maybe the doctors were wrong etc. but no he died right to the day the doctors said but it was still a "shock" to me. i ahd to go to therapy and on top of that Ihad breast cancer! So it was a struggle for me and I just thought it was the end of my world!! Dee
- dee, Newark, Delaware   15 Mar 2010

God bless Darrell and Cynthia Jane. Forgiveness is oh so powerful. I pray for you, Cynthia Jane as you live your grief. Susan
- s, Italy   15 Mar 2010

today i greave for the lose of my brother Darrell. He would be 54 on thrus. He did many very bad things in his life. He hurt many people especially his family. He also lived the the aboundant grace of G*d's love and forgivness. The last moments I spent with him was in sharing the sacrament. I learned more about forgivness and healing in the 20 days of his dying then I have learned in the other 55 yrs of my living. my heart still aches with grief almost daily.
- cynthia jane, Indianapolis   15 Mar 2010

I believe he will find his faith again. I have to. In the meantime I keep a firm hold on mine. I have learnt that silence is louder than words and 'being' is more effective than trying to convince. I love him. I trust he will find himself soon.
- s, here   7 Mar 2010

Dear Kimberly, Ontario: Thank you for sharing your feelings connected with the sad loss of your son, as well as your emerging through that dark place... It is so uplifting to read your words, "In honouring Matthew, I choose life". May we always choose life - whatever happens! Blessings and Love!
- Juliana, Austria   10 Feb 2010

My 27 year old son Matthew died suddenly at work in August 2009. In these past almost 6 months, many roads have been travelled. The road of heartbreak, sorrow, anger, fear, regret, blame, shame, isolation. Grief took me to such deep places in my soul, cracked me wide open and left me fully exposed to the good, the bad and the ugly. Recenlty I emerged through this dark place, and now understand that in honouring Matthew, I choose life. I learned to leave my isolation and let others help. Through forgiveness and compassion I have learned to love. Matthew taught me so much in his life, and he continues to teach me about the big lessons of life. Thru grief I have discovered the gifts of knowing that in the end there is only healing and love and and then joy. I understand now that time has no barriers. Matthew is still very much in our lives. He has become our guardian angel, and we are so grateful and blessed that he shared his time with us as a son, brother,grandson and friend.
- Kimberly, Ontario   9 Feb 2010

Dear LR, California, It is with empathy that I have read about your grief. We all make mistakes in the course of our lives. Regret and remorse have healing power. Having gone through these emotions, through this learning process, you will be the better, more caring person, going out to and understanding others... Do not dwell on what causes you grief, but try to focus on the good in your life. All of it is pure gift, and we have a new chance each single day... With Love,
- Juliana, Austria   27 Jan 2010

My life is filled with grief today. At the same time I'm grieving I'm also aware that God is calling me to make him Lord of my life. My 16 year old's father, Bob, took his life in March of 2009. I feel such regret and remorse that we were divorced, that my son has to be without the person he loved most in the world. I also am reflecting on my life and all of the mistakes I've made. I'm finding it so difficult ot forgive myself, and my mother for the choices I've made in my life. Thank you all for sharing, it has been helpful to me tonight!
- LR, California   26 Jan 2010

This past year has been extremely painful for my son who was fighting leukemia. As a mother I could feel his pain and the anguish he suffers is miserable. I can only say that I understand how Mary sat by the cross and saw her son suffer. I get scared in my dreams trying to climb down a steep mountain cliff and looking down. It feels like free falling. I do believe that God is listening to all our prayers. We are now at the end of the road, and Matt will be completely healed and all our lives will be so different.
- Mggj, Paradise   17 Jan 2010

My mother's death this past June has surfaced many difficult memories as well as grief for losing her. I am feeling numb and depressed. I know I need to forgive her. And myself. And both my sisters. I am grateful for life, even though I do not feel it. I pray to have the courage to release deeply held feelings, so that I can reach forgiveness and remember the wonderful aspects of my mother. I have experienced depression every fall/winter for a number of years. I want to be free of this.
- GinnyM, Vermont   12 Jan 2010

My mother passed away several years ago. She was the best friend/mentor/advisor, and I miss her terribly still. Even though she is gone, I still talk to her as if she were right in front of me. Even though I am only pretending, it has always made me feel better. I believe in an afterlife, and hope she hears me.
- map, Upstate New York   20 Dec 2009

My husband, Richard Welton died suddenly 8 years ago...The first few years are tough to get thorugh; everything is magnified and everything seemed to be going in slow motion as well. What I learned is that I had many people who loved me and were praying for me. What I have learned are two things: 1) Life is short so make the most of it. 2) I honor my late husband's life by honouring him in trying to live a life of integrity and kindness. God bless you all and I will keep you all in my prayers.
- deborah carville-welton, south boston   12 Dec 2009

My mom left us back in August and it's been a real challenge to move on without her as she was the one that always made the Winter holy days so special for us and the grandkids. It's been especially hard trying to tend to my own grief while trying to offer comfort to my daughter. Now my husband is being deployed and I have to go through the rest of this 'year of mourning' on my own. I feel alone but I know I'm not alone. I have friends waiting for me to tell them how they can help me, my sister and brother are becoming closer to me now than they have been since I left home, people who knew my mom have added our family to their prayers and I have the support of my Mother/Father God. This journey is truly a mixture of sadness and joy.
- Dee, Duluth, GA   3 Dec 2009

We have found this website because our hearts are shattered and we are in pain. Our lives have been forever altered with the loss of our loved one. It's been three months now since my husband passed away unexpectantly. My children and I continue to struggle every day. I have read many books on grief and have joined a grief support group. If you have not yet done so I urge each of you who has lost a loved one to seek a support group in your community. The people you meet there will understand how you feel because they are going through the same emotions. Your family and friends try to help but they have no clue unless they have experienced a significant loss themselves. I have grown closer to God and give Him thanks every day for watching over us and blessing us with the strength we need to be able to get through each day. I look forward to the day when I can come to this website and express a joyful note. I will keep all of you in my prayers.
- KJF, Florida   1 Dec 2009

Bless all of you who have come here. I lost my 10 yr old boy to a rare infection this summer. I have also felt my heart bleeding, as someone described here, as if my heart had been torn apart & the wound left open. I have felt stunned, as if I literally couldn't feel anything, not my own skin, much less grief. The only thing that has helped, is to find small things to be grateful for and to write about them. That my son didn't die of a more painful condition. That his father & I were at his side when he was last conscious and told us he wanted to live with us and love us forever. That he will never see us grow old or ill. That I can still live in his name doing the good he might have gone on to do. I have found that I have to push away the awful memories in order to feel his presence and find him in my dreams. It doesn't take much to push me back into despair, so it is often an effort to find the joy. Having someone to listen is so helpful, so even if you can only come here, do it.
- anon, FL, USA   23 Nov 2009