Two years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had a sex addiction. One of his obsessions was a website for Eastern European women who want to marry American men. We were divorced in 2008. Even though I've since met a wonderful man, I still grieve. I feel horribly homesick for our family. We have two children and shared wonderful family traditions. Recently, the ex brought over a Ukrainian woman who is 20 years his junior along with her son. Our kids, both older teens, are moritified. It feels as if he tossed out our family for a new one. I am looking for a way to find some peace with this.
- exwife, USA   4 Nov 2009

My dear sweet fiance Tim died this summer in a motorcycle crash. It's been a long hard summer. His birthday, Oct 13 came and I planted garlic. For the first time since his death, I worked in the garden. I had planted it this spring, but after he died May 31, I had no energy to care for it. Somehow somethng has started to shift. Maybe, like those little cloves in the ground there is something growing in me. Something that will spring forth. There is still a light there in my heart, it's just been covered up. How I wish I could say we spent 20 years together!! I'm grateful that I got to experience his love, even if it was only for almost 3 years. they were some of my most happy days. I will not give up on love. a dear friend told me , don't be afraid, Tim will send you a special man, he wouldn't want you to be alone. How did she know my fear?? And yes, tim wouldn't want me to be alone. I will always love him. Be brave, be, kind, smile...... Suzy
- Suzy, Massachusetts   28 Oct 2009

my precious Eleanore Marie was born into the loving hands of God on September 24. We all miss her so and the love she would have added to our lives. We love you Eleanore and we will all be together again one day, please watch over your older brother and sister and keep them safe.
- Michelle F, NOLA USA   19 Oct 2009

Today October 19 I would have been my 24th Wedding Anniversary. We were married for 10 years. My husband James died 13 years on October 3 and he would have celebrated his 49th birthday on October 6. No matter how many years pass by I still miss him and even though I have moved on in my life and most people have also it is still a personal struggle to not miss him daily. He committed suicide because he found out he had brain cancer. His family quit talking to me 2 years after his death for no reason other than they live in another state. I have struggled with this grief for years silently and even my own extended family now never talk about my husband and act like he never exhisted.
- HSM, South Carolina   19 Oct 2009

Dear KJF A year ago my mother died suddenly and I still remember the shock and numbing pain. In some ways the numbness is like a protective covering to embrace you during this time of such sorrow. I too remember feeling so lost and wanting to know where my mother was. I wanted to hear her voice and feel her presence. So many kind and supportive words were given to us but there were two thoughts I found particularly comforting. The first was that rather than thinking my mother had been taken from us, I felt that she had been received by God and all those who had gone before us. The second it helped me to know that even in death our relationship continues. I continue to learn things about my mother and as I go through her belongings and her home I continually find I understand more about her. I have lived the past year without her and yet she has never left me. Not a day goes by that I don't remember her or think about. She lives on within us. Peace will come.
- TA, Washington, DC   13 Oct 2009

I lost my 22 year old cousin this past July. I am not accepting the idea of her death. We were so close, she was the big sister I never had! I've been trying to write a "Good-bye" letter; but I couldn't write it. The fact was that I don't want to say my farewells. I pray to God to give me the strength needed to accept what happened. I miss her so much! She is more than a memory, she lives beside me in spirit!!
- Laila, Palestine   11 Oct 2009

Dear KJF, Florida, Yes, the pain will get better. I empathize with you for the loss you have suffered. Healthy, active and full of life - that´s what my husband was, too. I know that words cannot take your grief away. Maybe they can send you a ray of hope, as you walk the path through the land of tears - healing tears - towards gratefulness for the time of togetherness that was given to you... Blessings and Love!
- Juliana, Austria   8 Oct 2009

I pray for you all. Last night my mother, who passed almost 9 years ago, came into my dreams. Her presence was so real, and, at first, I was shocked to be with her. Then, we were absorbed in a loving exchange, and I was flooded with relief that she wasn't gone after all. Only, then, I awoke and remembered she is dead and the longing and heartbreak were as fresh as ever. I am grateful for the visit but am so sad again and have really been thrown off balance by both the joy of communion with her and the grief of separation again. Later this morning, my sister called to say that my niece was born today and her name is "Joy." I think my mom wanted to be around our family at this time. So, I truly identify with the idea of the intermingling of grief and joy and feel grateful because, in light of how overwhelming and huge it all is, I don't know what else to feel. I am grateful for the intensity of being alive.
- cc, usa   7 Oct 2009

My husband died suddenly 5 weeks ago. I am so completely lost. I feel like I'm in slow motion and it's so difficult to complete a task or a sentence. I am financially scared as I'm sure many of you are when the person that has always taken care of you is gone. For 23 years he was my best friend, mentor, protector and a wonderful dad to our kids, age 20 and 16. All of us were always together, the perfect family, enjoying life. Then, wham, he's gone and I can't understand why he was taken from us. Healthy, active and full of life. We are devastated and so grief stricken that it takes our breath away. Does this pain get any better??
- KJF, Florida   7 Oct 2009

I don't know how I ended up on this site but I am thankful I did. I lost my 40 yr old son on 7/28 to a heart attack, I lost my daughter in a car accident 7/3/2004. Sometimes I can feel my heart bleeding. God does not punish so I know he has his reasons and I will see them again along with my parents that died in 2001 only months apart. I am thankful for my son that is alive and makes proud.
- Char, Wisconsin   5 Oct 2009

I am feeling the loss of my husband again, even though it's been 4 years now. And the loss of another friend although not passed away, just lived a lie. I thank the universe for my blessings but sometimes I feel like I've failed and don't know what to do next.
- cdh, midwest   28 Sep 2009

4 years ago our 15 yr. old son began having problems - he has a mental illness[MI]. it has been a very hard journey - and there is still many challenges ahead as we continue to walk this road that we did not choose to follow. This has completely changed our family - we wonder - what will happen next and why did this happen - and through that we have sometimes see ourselves and each other in a new way - we have met many other people who struggle as well against MI. I remember not being aware of MI much at all - now I see it all the time - and not just in our home. As you can tell we are still trying to grapple with and understand how we can help him grow and help him live a life that is his own - right now - its hard to understand exactly what that looks like or what it even means. I think this is a great web site - the idea of grateful living and being mindful - these will help us get through each day. Peace.
- MarkH, Kentucky   28 Sep 2009

dear jan, phila, maybe you can find someone in your local area you can help you with EFT- very gentle tapping on acupuncture points, which can help with the fear. very best wishes. Put eft into google for more info
- jen, canberra, australia   26 Sep 2009

jan, phila: Dear Jan, I will add you to my prayer list. When I pray I visualize a waterfall in a beautiful valley in the Smokies. I put myself and those for whom I pray in the waterfall, with the water and the brilliant light going through all of us. I pray you will know you are not alone, and your fear will be lifted.
- Mary Lou, Rochester, NY   23 Sep 2009

jan, phila: Dear Jan, I will add you to my prayer list. When I pray I visualize a waterfall in a beautiful valley in the Smokies. I put myself and those for whom I pray in the waterfall, with the water and the brilliant light going through all of us. I pray you will know you are not alone, and your fear will be lifted.
- Mary Lou, Rochester, NY   23 Sep 2009

A very special young friend of mine who is like a son for me has been diagnosed with blood cancer today, but the survival rate is 70% so I have hope and I put my efforts into praying and good energies. He will prevail.
- Soshin, Ausria   15 Sep 2009

I miss my son who passed away sept 21st 2008 at only 26 years old. I ask why he was taken from me every day? I trust God had his reasons maybe not to suffer something even worse that may come to this earth. I still pray to see him again someday by the grace of God.
- SUSAN, st. pete bc. FL   12 Sep 2009

I miss my sons, Neil aged 26yrs died 4yrs ago and Carl aged 23yrs died 15yrs ago. I want to go home and be with them. Please God take me home
- Elaine, New Zealand   11 Sep 2009

My dear friend just learned that his dad died four years ago. They'd been estranged for more than 14 years, but he always thought they would have a chance to talk down the road. How might he remember his dad and find peace? Does anyone have an idea for a tatoo that might express gratefulness for all the good memories? (My email is christineford@yahoo.com.) Thanks so much.
- CMF, W.Va.   10 Sep 2009

jan, phila: Dear Jan, receive my prayer, Blessings on you for trust and peace, my very best wishes and love!
- Juliana, Austria   27 Aug 2009