I 'm not sure if Joy will ever come to my life again. I've been depressed for over ten years now. I've tried medication and counseling but it has not worked for me. I want to believe it is possible to experience joy again. I have become isolated from friends and family members for many years. I keep hoping that the faith I once had will return and help me out of this darkness. I want to live, but sometimes I feel death is the only way out. I don't know how to move forward.
- Maria, Miami   20 Nov 2009

Dear Linda, Grief is a strange and convoluted process. There are no roadmaps, every journey is unique. A dear friend gave me a book "Unattended Sorrow" by Stephen Levine. It really helped me in this process of grieving the loss of my dear Tim. We had issues (don't we all have issues!) when he died. Now everything is okay. Luckily, forgiveness has always been easy for me, and our last moments together were graced with smiles and happiness. My belief in love and forgiveness will be forever stronger from this experience. My grief has been softened by a grateful heart. I'm grateful for the love I experienced, something so many never experience. And while I may still cry and feel sad sometimes, I know how very lucky I have been. Remember you can always talk to your departed loved ones. You may not get an immediate reply, but it will come in time, even if from your own heart. May you be free from pain and suffering. In loving kindness, Suzy
- Suzy, USA   17 Nov 2009

Dear Caroline, MN USA: My heart goes out to you! All I can offer is empathy and compassion with your suffering. Let me, gently, say that if we cannot dull our pain, it is possible to accept and to bear it, asking whatever Higher Power we believe in for strength... I will light a candle and pray for you.
- Juliana, Austria   14 Nov 2009

I've lost almost everyone to the isolation and rejection that comes from being housbound by illness. There is little support for my grief or my methods of coping except from my parents and younger brother who have seen it daily. Words from others are cruel and hurt deeply even when they think they are doing right by me. I feel fear and shame and feel alien. Losing the man I loved is like a wound that won't heal. I cannot dull the pain.
- Caroline, MN USA   13 Nov 2009

Dear Linda, USA: Once you have forgiven yourself for what you said or did to your father, I think you will be able to believe in his presence or even feel it. Being frail human beings we all need forgiveness in one way or another... Perhaps you can share the love you feel for him with some one who needs it, and this will make you feel better. There are so many around who need it... Blessings!
- Juliana, Austria   11 Nov 2009

My dear father died just over a year ago, and it seems I grieve more for him now than I did when he passed. I remember all the things I said or did and wished I hadn't and they hurt my heart. I don't feel his presence at all and that really bothers me. I wish he would come in a dream or anything to make me realize his spirit is still around. I don't have much faith in an afterlife so I worry I will never know him again. It is all very confusing and heartbreaking.
- Linda, USA   9 Nov 2009

Two years ago, I discovered that my husband of 18 years had a sex addiction. One of his obsessions was a website for Eastern European women who want to marry American men. We were divorced in 2008. Even though I've since met a wonderful man, I still grieve. I feel horribly homesick for our family. We have two children and shared wonderful family traditions. Recently, the ex brought over a Ukrainian woman who is 20 years his junior along with her son. Our kids, both older teens, are moritified. It feels as if he tossed out our family for a new one. I am looking for a way to find some peace with this.
- exwife, USA   4 Nov 2009

My dear sweet fiance Tim died this summer in a motorcycle crash. It's been a long hard summer. His birthday, Oct 13 came and I planted garlic. For the first time since his death, I worked in the garden. I had planted it this spring, but after he died May 31, I had no energy to care for it. Somehow somethng has started to shift. Maybe, like those little cloves in the ground there is something growing in me. Something that will spring forth. There is still a light there in my heart, it's just been covered up. How I wish I could say we spent 20 years together!! I'm grateful that I got to experience his love, even if it was only for almost 3 years. they were some of my most happy days. I will not give up on love. a dear friend told me , don't be afraid, Tim will send you a special man, he wouldn't want you to be alone. How did she know my fear?? And yes, tim wouldn't want me to be alone. I will always love him. Be brave, be, kind, smile...... Suzy
- Suzy, Massachusetts   28 Oct 2009

my precious Eleanore Marie was born into the loving hands of God on September 24. We all miss her so and the love she would have added to our lives. We love you Eleanore and we will all be together again one day, please watch over your older brother and sister and keep them safe.
- Michelle F, NOLA USA   19 Oct 2009

Today October 19 I would have been my 24th Wedding Anniversary. We were married for 10 years. My husband James died 13 years on October 3 and he would have celebrated his 49th birthday on October 6. No matter how many years pass by I still miss him and even though I have moved on in my life and most people have also it is still a personal struggle to not miss him daily. He committed suicide because he found out he had brain cancer. His family quit talking to me 2 years after his death for no reason other than they live in another state. I have struggled with this grief for years silently and even my own extended family now never talk about my husband and act like he never exhisted.
- HSM, South Carolina   19 Oct 2009

Dear KJF A year ago my mother died suddenly and I still remember the shock and numbing pain. In some ways the numbness is like a protective covering to embrace you during this time of such sorrow. I too remember feeling so lost and wanting to know where my mother was. I wanted to hear her voice and feel her presence. So many kind and supportive words were given to us but there were two thoughts I found particularly comforting. The first was that rather than thinking my mother had been taken from us, I felt that she had been received by God and all those who had gone before us. The second it helped me to know that even in death our relationship continues. I continue to learn things about my mother and as I go through her belongings and her home I continually find I understand more about her. I have lived the past year without her and yet she has never left me. Not a day goes by that I don't remember her or think about. She lives on within us. Peace will come.
- TA, Washington, DC   13 Oct 2009

I lost my 22 year old cousin this past July. I am not accepting the idea of her death. We were so close, she was the big sister I never had! I've been trying to write a "Good-bye" letter; but I couldn't write it. The fact was that I don't want to say my farewells. I pray to God to give me the strength needed to accept what happened. I miss her so much! She is more than a memory, she lives beside me in spirit!!
- Laila, Palestine   11 Oct 2009

Dear KJF, Florida, Yes, the pain will get better. I empathize with you for the loss you have suffered. Healthy, active and full of life - that´s what my husband was, too. I know that words cannot take your grief away. Maybe they can send you a ray of hope, as you walk the path through the land of tears - healing tears - towards gratefulness for the time of togetherness that was given to you... Blessings and Love!
- Juliana, Austria   8 Oct 2009

I pray for you all. Last night my mother, who passed almost 9 years ago, came into my dreams. Her presence was so real, and, at first, I was shocked to be with her. Then, we were absorbed in a loving exchange, and I was flooded with relief that she wasn't gone after all. Only, then, I awoke and remembered she is dead and the longing and heartbreak were as fresh as ever. I am grateful for the visit but am so sad again and have really been thrown off balance by both the joy of communion with her and the grief of separation again. Later this morning, my sister called to say that my niece was born today and her name is "Joy." I think my mom wanted to be around our family at this time. So, I truly identify with the idea of the intermingling of grief and joy and feel grateful because, in light of how overwhelming and huge it all is, I don't know what else to feel. I am grateful for the intensity of being alive.
- cc, usa   7 Oct 2009

My husband died suddenly 5 weeks ago. I am so completely lost. I feel like I'm in slow motion and it's so difficult to complete a task or a sentence. I am financially scared as I'm sure many of you are when the person that has always taken care of you is gone. For 23 years he was my best friend, mentor, protector and a wonderful dad to our kids, age 20 and 16. All of us were always together, the perfect family, enjoying life. Then, wham, he's gone and I can't understand why he was taken from us. Healthy, active and full of life. We are devastated and so grief stricken that it takes our breath away. Does this pain get any better??
- KJF, Florida   7 Oct 2009

I don't know how I ended up on this site but I am thankful I did. I lost my 40 yr old son on 7/28 to a heart attack, I lost my daughter in a car accident 7/3/2004. Sometimes I can feel my heart bleeding. God does not punish so I know he has his reasons and I will see them again along with my parents that died in 2001 only months apart. I am thankful for my son that is alive and makes proud.
- Char, Wisconsin   5 Oct 2009

I am feeling the loss of my husband again, even though it's been 4 years now. And the loss of another friend although not passed away, just lived a lie. I thank the universe for my blessings but sometimes I feel like I've failed and don't know what to do next.
- cdh, midwest   28 Sep 2009

4 years ago our 15 yr. old son began having problems - he has a mental illness[MI]. it has been a very hard journey - and there is still many challenges ahead as we continue to walk this road that we did not choose to follow. This has completely changed our family - we wonder - what will happen next and why did this happen - and through that we have sometimes see ourselves and each other in a new way - we have met many other people who struggle as well against MI. I remember not being aware of MI much at all - now I see it all the time - and not just in our home. As you can tell we are still trying to grapple with and understand how we can help him grow and help him live a life that is his own - right now - its hard to understand exactly what that looks like or what it even means. I think this is a great web site - the idea of grateful living and being mindful - these will help us get through each day. Peace.
- MarkH, Kentucky   28 Sep 2009

dear jan, phila, maybe you can find someone in your local area you can help you with EFT- very gentle tapping on acupuncture points, which can help with the fear. very best wishes. Put eft into google for more info
- jen, canberra, australia   26 Sep 2009

jan, phila: Dear Jan, I will add you to my prayer list. When I pray I visualize a waterfall in a beautiful valley in the Smokies. I put myself and those for whom I pray in the waterfall, with the water and the brilliant light going through all of us. I pray you will know you are not alone, and your fear will be lifted.
- Mary Lou, Rochester, NY   23 Sep 2009