Grateful Living
In the ground beneath an ant hill stretches a vast network of tunnels, teaming with ants. Our world is teaming with grateful people, and this website is merely a little ant hill sticking out into cyberspace. The ants work on their project in silence, but we have the gift of language. Let's use this to share the insights, questions, joys, or difficulties we encounter in our daily practice of gratitude. Thus, we will build our project: a Network for Grateful Living.

You've started the forums! One more turn of the gratefulness spiral, giving us the opportunity to share with and receive help from others on this journey...thank you.
- GJ, Pennsylvania   9 Sep 2001

Hope it's okay to ask questions here! I'm wondering how to keep a spirit of gratitude even in the midst of constant distractions. Like right now I want to write to you (and to be quiet and concentrated in general) and my kids are playing Nintendo in the background: noisy and rather irritating. It's not exactly the lifestyle I would choose -- or that I anticipated when considering parenting many years ago -- yet I find myself making concessions so that my kids don't feel too "out of it" in their public school culture. Very difficult choices. I'm glad there are sites like this to which I can come to refresh my perspective.
- Jennifer, NYC   9 Sep 2001

I've always loved the season of autumn the best because it evokes the stirring beauty of transient life. Especially trees with their hanging fruits of growth, and the full coloring of their crowned garlands, - symbolize life's brief fulfillment and exquisite beauty before dropping away. There is a mood of turning inward in autumn, after the extraversion of summer, that it is suffused with the kind of poignancy that holds both joy of beauty and dramatic change, and a quiet somberness that anticipates the approach of barren and colder times. I wish I could always hold gratefulness, like the mood of autumn. In the course of life, what I hold precious that sometimes must die or drop away, could be experienced with the kind of rich acceptance of the rhythms of life, that doesn't deny sadness at loss nor fail to celebrate the daily wonders of life. I have glimpses of that quality of grateful living, but daily wear and tear makes it hard to stay in that wholeness where disappointment and conflict don't have the final word. For me, dropping back into gratefulness seems to happen by itself, as if a little gift of grace were given, without my conscious effort. It seems I need to develop an 'art' of being grateful, to make the process more conscious. How do other people deal with this spiritual challenge?
- Louis L., Bennington, VT   9 Sep 2001

In response to Louis today (Sept. 9), it seems that writing your feelings about autumn draws you into the wholeness you're seeking. The colors, abundance, and beauty tinged with poignancy come through almost tangibly, even here in California where seasonal transitions don't exhibit such dramatic flare. So I'm wondering if one tool for you in the art of grateful living might be writing, for instance, by keeping a journal. Writing blends grace (not much happens if our muse is absent) and consciousness (as we concentrate on our experience in the retelling of it). You can even keep a journal section that focuses on gratitude per se: what you are grateful for, and what you are NOT grateful for. As Brother David say, the things we don't know how to be grateful for present opportunities to make needed changes. A journal, or any writing, provides a wonderful way to examine these opportunities and bring your life into synch with your aspirations.
- Lee W., San Diego, CA   9 Sep 2001

I, too, love autumn. For me, that feeling of "WOW" comes often as I drive (I commute to work- 2 hours every day) and, suddenly, the yellows and oranges of the trees really strike me, as if for the first time. In response to a question from Jennifer from NYC: Depending on the age of your children, maybe you could use some headphones and listen to some soothing music or an inspirational talk while the Nintendo game is going on. There is a cassette recording of a talk Brother David gave on gratefulness that I find both relaxing and thought-provoking. If anyone is interested, post a note here and I'll include more information about this. It's wonderful to have this forum available. Have a wonderful week everyone out there.
- Iluminada, North Carolina   9 Sep 2001

I'll second Louis' comment about the "daily wear and tear". I spend most of my working life helping others wrestle with being grateful in the face of hardship, among other issues. Yet I have as much trouble as the next person applying my own advice even though intellectually I know how fortunate I am. To be honest, it's sometimes hard to find and maintain that "state of wholeness". I can only hope that it comes more naturally with practice!
- Tom T, Baltimore, MD   10 Sep 2001

Hello, This is in response to Jennifer in NYC. Hang in there kid! I’ve raised three children and they survived to adulthood and so did I. At age 25 I was puzzled by a strong call to a contemplative life style amidst babies and a lively family. Living an oxymoron is an adventure in itself. As for gratitude when you feel pulled and drained…well that is the challenge, isn’t it? In my imagination I had a space for a section I called, “Someday, I’ll appreciate this.” It was right next to the “Someday we’ll laugh when we remember this” file. Some seasons everything went into those files. Not losing hope and keeping the possibility open that in the future we’ll see things from a new perspective, helps too. That little practice and a Mother Teresa story about the city distractions that invaded during her sisters’ prayer time supported my efforts. When the sisters invited those distractions into their prayer, the distractions ceased. All became part of their prayer and mindfulness. I’m still working on that one. Peace doesn't always mean quiet.
- CfMc, Portland, Oregon   11 Sep 2001

Thank you, Illuminada and CfMc! I feel like I'm riding on a wave of caring, competent support (and that our family will indeed survive this stage and grow up together, gratefully).
- Jennifer, NYC   11 Sep 2001

I have so many blessings and so much to be thankful for. I am still shining with the aflerglow of my recent blessing. 36 years ago I lost my first child to adoption.I loved him from the moment of conception. We made a solid bond for the 9 months that I carried him under my heart. His movement was always insync with mine, we flowed together, like bubbles in a bubble bath. Happy, content and safe. The day came when it was time to give birth and I froze. I tried to shut down. I was not ready for him to leave and I tried my best to stop that searing pain. This struggle went on for hours before they finally put me to sleep. He was with me in the hospital every minute that I could get him. He was my buddy. I was his mom. I was 15.I left him in the hospital with a promise that we would meet again.After 36 years of missing him, he finally found me again. After all these years we are still in tandem, so much so that it scared the both of us. We are in time out for now. Waiting for what I do not know, but he is the leader of this reunion so we wait.
- linn, VA   13 Sep 2001

Strange thing about journals, I have two children. One just started school and the other was born about a year ago. Had I known this was all coming they would both still be here today. They are what keep me going right now. In the right direction. I cannot show my emotions to an extent to where it will frighten them. My oldest has always been at my side. He traveled with me to and from work and stayed with me while I worked. I have been blessed with a job that is extremely functional for a woman with two children. When my oldest started school about two weeks ago I went through a lot of emotions. I would be in the car and not feel his presence and think I left him somewhere. It's like being at a mall shopping without your purse, or looking down and noticing that your wedding ring is not on. He has been with me nearly every day for five years. What a shock it was for me to deal with the change when he started school. I am fortunate enough to be able to continue that routine with my youngest child. Who now goes everywhere I do. It may be to work, or to go grocery shopping, or to get mail. But no matter what there he is. A constant reminder of love. He depends on me for everything in life right now, including security. I am so very grateful to live in such a beautiful country. A country that will come together when the worst tries to break us apart. Let it be known we are only broken apart when it is necessary. Such as in my case that my oldest child will receive a wonderful education. And go on to have opportunities that only we as Americans have. It is important for our children to stay in schools we cannot let other people break us apart. We have to stay strong and remain positive for the children we must all remember they are our future. They are depending on us right now one day we will depend on them. I wanted to give something special to my children when they are older. I thought about this for a long time for a few weeks. Then I figured out what it was. A journal. To both of them. So that one day they could have a piece of, Mom. To remember me by, or to hold on to in case they are in need of comforting and I am not with them physically. What I mean is, say they're off at collegeand they are homesick they could pull out that journal and read my thoughts. Put them at ease in a way I may not be able to do if I were not near. Or if they wouldn't call me because they might be afraid that they are bothering me or they are embarassed by the fact that they would be in need of Mom and Dad even though they are growing up and becoming adults. Well anyway I started that journal the day my oldest started school. I love it! I also found out by accident how theraputic it was. Maybe I am doing it for myself and maybe I am the one to embarassed to let my children know that I am the one that cannot cope with the thought of them growing up one day and becoming young adults and going off to college. Even though I know they must mature and besides that it is the inevitable. There is no reversing them once they start to bud. My children just like everyones children should be more than able to have that experience to blossom in life. All children around the world. I do have to confess I have not written in that journal since the terrorists have started. And I know why. I know that when I give these journals to my children they will be grown adults. So my intention this whole time was writing in that journal to the understanding that they would be more than able to understand what it was I am telling them about because when I would hand over these journals they would be adults. So no matter how I feel and no matter what turn of events take place I feel I should be as honest with my feelings and just as honest as the turn of events are concerned. May God Bless Us All
- Becky , Heart of Texas   13 Sep 2001

Next week my son Jim will undergo major surgery. I'm grateful for the prayers of family and friends, and I'm grateful that expert medical care is available. I'm grateful for God's presence in the lives of all of us. Blessings to all, Liz
- Liz, California   2 Oct 2001

I'm grateful for living in the greatest country on earth. Thou not near perfect, we try hard. I'm grateful for freedom to live & worship as we choose. I'm grateful for the caring & united and diverse people of our country. I'm grateful for our Allies, may God Bless them. I'm grateful for God's love and my faith in knowing that God will see us through. I'm grateful for my loving family.
- dz, USA   15 Oct 2001