Once in a Chinese restaurant, I broke open a fortune cookie to read: Happiness is just in front of you.  My mind split in two, like the cookie before me.  One half thought:  Woohoo!  Maybe something great is about to happen!  The other held back, aware that though it came in a fortune cookie, this thought was worth keeping track of.  I slipped the paper into my wallet and waited.

It didn’t take long to run across a quotation from Benedictine monk and spiritual teacher, Brother David Steindl-Rast: “It is not happiness that makes us grateful; it is gratefulness that makes us happy.”  It was like a secret decoder ring for that fortune:  I have access to happiness RIGHT NOW, and gratefulness is my way in.

You’d think we Episcopalians would be gratefulness experts.  Our Book of Common Prayer identifies the Holy Eucharist as our principal act of worship, and the word “Eucharist” comes from the Greek for “grateful”.  Yet I’ve noticed that, whatever our circumstances, we’re quicker to come up with what we want to ask God for than we are to remember what to thank God for. Why is that?

I recently participated in a retreat led by Brother David where he talked about what blocks gratefulness, and what supports it. He suggests that precisely because we have so much – food, shelter, clothing, “extras” – they feel like the norm instead of the great blessings they are.  You might say our abundance feels like a given, not a gift. Since we rarely lack these things, it’s hard to remember to acknowledge their presence.  So we need to prompt ourselves to do it. During his talks, Brother David identified two ways to encourage that: silence, which creates opportunities to see and take in the richness and beauty in the world God has created, and rituals, which help us feel and express our gratefulness to the One, the source of all we have.

These spiritual practices are as simple and accessible as they are ancient and powerful.  How can you bring them into your life?  Practicing silence might mean sitting without distraction ten minutes a few times per week to enjoy Paris coming into bloom, or taking a daily walk and celebrating the fact you can!  Or you may end each day by clearing your mind and remembering the people and resources that made it go smoothly.  A ritual can be as simple and meaningful as lighting a candle each night to acknowledge God’s presence and love for you, or starting every dinner by sharing one thing that makes you happy.

So many possibilities and all they require is a little time and – now the hard part! – commitment. We all need encouragement and here’s a terrific resource to support your gratefulness quest: www.gratefulness.org.  Start with Brother David’s meditation, A Good Day.  Make sure you have your sound on.  His voice leads me through it many mornings, and each time I come to the end feeling more peaceful, and hopeful. And I realize I’m happier, even though absolutely nothing has changed except my heart.

Maria DeCarvalho is the founder of Another Way, equipping organizations with tools for working together more effectively to achieve positive outcomes. She served for eight years as Dean of The Cathedral of St. John, a vibrant, multicultural congregation of the Episcopal Church in Providence, Rhode Island. Prior to that Maria spent several years leading workshops and retreats around the United States and abroad.